Many people find that volunteering provides a useful step on the road to recovery.

Healing your inner child The idea that each one of us has an inner child has been the butt of jokes in recent years, and yet its a concept that is useful in understanding ourselves. Do you worry about blushing or trembling when speaking to people? If I take a risk, Ill fail - I can learn to take risks, step by step. This is also why someone with, say, a cleaning ritual might well end up doing no cleaning at all - better not to start in the first place. The deepest layer is the core beliefs, the foundations upon which the middle level is built and which ultimately drive the whole process. You may blame yourself for developing Anxiety. In both cases your attention is selective - either focusing on the negative, or the positive. I thought I must be losing my sanity, what other explanation was there? I had to kneel at one of the graves and rub my hands in the dirt amongst the gravestone, . Your sense of self-worth will ded on your achievements, your status, or simply on being liked, and yet youll never feel that youve got enough of any of these. Sadness - you are leaving your old life behind. Its back to the sink and count up to Ten. I used to avoid everything. At first I just used to avoid school assembly, then it was the pictures, and towards the end I wouldnt even go out in the back garden and put washing out. Examining Anxiety Behaviours Theres no doubt that Anxiety does affect behaviour, although the details will be different for each person. Yes to question 8 refers to OCD. Raise your eyebrows and wrinkle up your forehead. If I fail, others will reject me - I can cope with failure, and I can cope with rejection if it comes. This is repression, where a person has lost touch with some of their emotions. All Anxiety disorders absorb a lot of your time and energy, and tend to make you isolated. Some people are only anxious about one particular type of activity. And yet they might well have simply not seen you, or been sunk into their own thoughts and worries. Other medication: you may be asked to try beta-blockers or anti- depressants. Its important to understand that escaping does not make Anxiety go away.

What if I pass out? Supposing something bad haps and its my fault? I have to get out of here! These thoughts are like the flower.

Its largely a question of training yourself and, of course, being patient while you wait for the changes to take effect. ativan xanax Learn to love and respect yourself. Are you inclined to be over-protective of yourself? Getting them to a professional source, such as an emergency room or their own family physician, for help WILL. Another question that is often asked is why has my Anxiety lasted so long? Some people seem to have a short sharp experience of Anxiety that they quickly overcome, and yet other people suffer for months and years before they recover. You may still be flooded with adrenalin, which you no longer need, and your mind will start to process what has haped and react to it. Its important to understand that escaping does not make Anxiety go away. Agoraphobia ladder Lets look at someone whos housebound and who feels theres no point in trying any more. In those days parents werent allowed to visit, a whole week with no contact! I had a traumatic experience when I was about 13 - I was raped . Keep yourself as busy as you can and let the thoughts of fear of an oncoming attack melt away. Unrealistic expectations I should be able to do this. I need to try, thats all. What if I make a mistake? Now compare this with a similar question, So what if I make a mistake? Ill take the driving test again and be better prepared! I take any opportunity I can to help with self-awareness. I dont underestimate my ability to cope, because Ive coped twice with difficult bereavements. Young children can be overwhelmed by strong emotions such as fear or anger. Take the bus for one stop with helper following by car. If you can't lay down, sit still, close your eyes and focus on slow, even, breathing. If you dont feel any, you wont have learnt anything, and if you feel too much youll feel disheartened. & Have a wind-down period of at least half an hour before you get ready for bed. Think of anything else youve undertaken and youll see that its inevitable - whether you were trying to play the piano, make cakes, get qualified or fit a new kitchen there were bound to be times when you felt like you were going backwards. I have to see the teacher for ten minutes on Tuesday but I cant go because Ill have a panic attack.

This means that eating fruit can satisfy your sweet tooth without having a bad effect on your Anxiety.

Other therapies We suggest you look at the guidelines published by the Royal College of Psychiatrists on using complementary therapies for mental health problems: complementarytherapy.aspx. Mild depression can be treated through self-help - exercise is particularly helpful. Many studies have focused mainly on two specific portions of the brain that are responsible for inducing feelings of fear and anxiety. It stops me getting bigheaded. Choose specific goals Dont say my goal is to be happy. It is simply an unannounced trigger that sets off one's “fight or flight” defense mechanism, kicks in the adrenaline, and BAM! Bulimia Nervosa - periods of overeating followed by vomiting or purging to control weight alternate with periods of starvation. The answer is that the whole system evolved a very long time ago, when primitive people were living lives filled with physical danger. When Im very anxious I cant get to sleep because of the thoughts going round and round. Ive always slept well. Now that Im so used to it I dont need to count, and I just breathe slowly and evenly through the nose and from the abdomen, breathing out for slightly longer than I breathe in. I was told it was best to breathe 10-12 times a minute and I had to learn to slow down by timing myself with a stopwatch. Make a list of your own particular extreme thoughts, and then work out ways of countering them. Think back to the time before you had Anxiety. Even someone whose Anxiety has become this bad can start a recovery programme - there is no situation so bad that it cant be turned round by slow steady repeated steps towards carefully chosen goals. If you can get someone else to do the tiresome chores, if you never have to be the one thats responsible, if you can cut out having to deal with office politics, dead-end jobs and relationship issues, then you might secretly feel that Anxiety has some advantages. In the lift example the person might set boundaries in this way: How can you do that? There are millions of other people struggling with Anxiety just as you are every single day. For them, life becomes a question of doing anything to avoid another panic attack. I made really good improvement, I could still improve but the vast majority of the time it isnt a problem and I can live my life quite comfortably. When you set up a recovery programme you aim to work steadily, curbing your impatience and taking one step at a time. As if they are drowning in a sea of chaos and disparity,unable to pull themselves out.

Did you want to shout of course Im committed and motivated, just show me what to do?

I could tell the teacher about my Anxiety problem, maybe theyd understand. There is no point in reading this book and doing the work we suggest if, for instance, you are suffering from a thyroid problem that can be treated by tablets. Working out an exposure plan Continuing our example of someone who wants to get back to work, they have already looked at what is stopping them, and they know which form their Anxiety takes, so they know where to direct their efforts. Clinical depression is an illness. They are like the leaves of the plant. I can see that my mother was very anxious and terrified of illness and I did develop a health anxiety. I have this approach that I dont think other people will be interested in my feelings so I keep quiet. Commitment: you may be at the stage of researching your options, with the intention of leafing through this book to see what its like. Since breakfast is the most important meal of the day it is worth trying to manage it. If you can reach an understanding that the rituals do not, in fact, make a difference, then you can free up some energy for working on your Anxiety. always wiping door handles after touching them) or may be involved in giving reassurance. Also, NEVER try and give someone suffering from an Anxiety attack any type of prescription drugs that have not been prescribed by their family physician. Start by answering these questions. This means that change is going to hap anyway, whatever you decide about undertaking a recovery programme. Core beliefs Core beliefs are formed in the earliest part of your life and they relate to three things: judgements about yourself judgements about other people judgements about the world. The fear is that loss of control will bring all of the withheld feelings bubbling to the surface. When you have kept a record for a week or so, compare it with the model below. While you may find this hard to believe, it will help you to chip away at that core belief. Specific phobias There are many specific phobias, which can be put into groups. They may not know why you keep turning down invitations, or refuse to go on holiday with them, but they do know that something is preventing you. If no one reassures them and helps them to cope, then they dont learn how to move on from these emotions.

I go jogging and go to the gym, walk, cycle.

If you are in a situation where you dont need to take any physical action, such as in a queue or driving a car, then that oxygen will stay in your system and add to your uncomfortable sensations. Someone with Anxiety is likely to be stuck with one or more of the following types of negative selective attention. Answering both questions might produce two quite long lists, for instance: You can count in your head as you do this exercise. Start with the negative core belief, for instance Nobody likes me. Magnifying and minimising Im the worst case of Anxiety ever, and the progress Ive made so far just doesnt count. I have some tapes and do some meditation. Once youre comfortable with the three sections, you can learn how to breathe smoothly through all of them. Ways of countering distorted intuition and self-reproach Distorted intuition and self-reproach are all about how you see yourself in relation to the world, and other people. If youve been practising the breathing exercise in Part One you should now feel confident enough to use it to reduce Anxiety levels. When you are talking to yourself in new ways, or creating counters, challenges and affirmations, remember the following guidelines: Use the first person - use the word I. Do a cost-benefit analysis This simply means looking at the advantages and disadvantages of something. Your goal must be Specific. It can seem as if youll never be able to just enjoy yourself again. If it is the upper hand, the one on your chest, then you are breathing in a shallow way that isnt helpful for Anxiety. Some practitioners describe themselves as integrative. Remember that adults dont need to prove themselves by their achievements. Ive always found it hard making the time for it. For a long time I used a relaxation tape, but now I am so familiar with the routine that I can relax myself without a tape. Dont include anything negative. I was frantic with fear at this terrible thought .

It is classified as an Anxiety disorder although it relates to events that have haped in the past rather than fears about what may hap in the future.

Even though you don't mean it in that way, this is most likely the way it is received. Decide which one is the most important and use the examples below to start the process of putting it back in its place. Surely this racing heart, these shaking legs, this churning stomach, cant all be down to my mind playing tricks? Cognitive work and OCD Ask yourself the question: Do my rituals really make a difference or are they driven by my Anxiety? If you have OCD, then read the example below. So next were going to look deeper into your thought processes, and at the aspects of your make up that might have made you vulnerable to Anxiety. It can be a bully, a demon, an authority figure, a false friend. It can also be viewed as a cycle. There are other thought habits that Anxiety creates, so the trial continues. Superwoman is a myth. Now bend your arms at the elbows. No. Worrying that you arent strong enough to stay awake all day only adds to the problem. Also you can look into the past - worrying that you made a bad job of something will cause you to try harder the next time. The value of laughter Research has showed that laughing is good for us, both mentally and physically. Take responsibility for your feelings. Relax your arms and let them fall back comfortably. I was under stress at work.My first bout of anxiety was triggered by a relationship break up - I suffered from depression first and then anxiety followed. Our eldest son . Keeping a diary was a great idea, because I felt obliged to tell the truth in it, and the only way I could record improvements in the diary was by doing the work and making the improvements. . I called him Pat and it was 22 steps from my front door to get to him.

And yet these problems are extremely common, so there must be thousands of people with similar records who are now leading happy and fulfilled lives.

The important thing is that you can make your own choices about important areas in your life - this is a truly healthy state. ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM My self-esteem has certainly been low in the past - my stammer lasted till I was 25 and even now I worry on the bus about asking for the fare. My self esteem is fine.I also had very low self-esteem, and Ive had to work on that. As for self-esteem, Im told that I always doubt my ability and I dont praise myself for my achievements, even though I know Ive achieved a lot. I do put myself down, dont like myself, laugh at myself. The parent with the fear of panic might answer as follows: Are there other ways of looking at this? If you are using an exercise video or DVD, try to find one that is not too challenging. Try cutting out every other drink, or make your drinks smaller. If I take a risk, Ill fail - I can learn to take risks, step by step. In an attempt to 'self-medicate', a person experiencing this disorder will often times turn to alcohol or 'street' drugs to cope which leads to more disorders springing up. Someone with OCD is likely to attach enormous importance to thoughts of this type. This may involve developing an unused talent or skill - boredom from unused potential can be a breeding ground for Anxiety. With practice you will become quicker at spotting the negative thoughts and interrupting them. One answer is to pump adrenalin into your system - not a good idea for someone with Anxiety. You can eat the kind of food you like. You didnt deliberately make yourself ill with Anxiety. ABOUT THE BUILD-UP TO ANXIETY I had a naughty magazine which was not unreasonable for a boy of 1 However, people who were prescribed these drugs before the dangers were fully recognised are still taking them because they are afraid to stop. I am now trying to find healthier, more positive outlets. Ive always eaten well, when I was on Valium I didnt put on any weight at all, I was constantly hungry but I was underweight. More about Diet Understanding the effects of caffeine Caffeine is a mild stimulant that raises your heart rate and creates a short-lived burst of energy. If you have OCD you may well have always been a methodical, accurate and careful person. This can be very hard to accept for someone who feels anxious all the time, or whose panics seem to last for ages, but the fact is that fight-or-flight is only designed as a short-term response to deal with immediate danger. Here is an example for someone with a fear of losing control and harming another person. Changing your anxious thinking Its time to set up the next part of the recovery programme, which aims to change your anxious thinking.